So I wake up in the middle of the night for no reason. As soon as I sit up, I feel it. My head is POUNDING. Great, I have a migraine. So I get up and stumble to the bathroom to take some meds to get this sucker under control. Go back to sleep for a few hours & get back up around 6am. I forgot that I had gotten up earlier so I sit right up in bed, and WHAM!!! Yep, still got the migraine. OMG, I should have never even sat up. Argh. Ok, first.....call into work. 2nd, take more drugs. 3rd, let the dogs out so I can go back to bed.
All of the above get done. I wake up again a few hours later, but not for no reason. I smell something. Something bad. Did a dog drop a turd on the floor right next to me? Had to of. So I skim the bed.....ok, there's Emma. Where's Mila. The bad one. Where is she? No where. Great. "Mila! Mila? Mila, get in there!" Silence. Ugh, I have to get up to see where she is. Head trobbing. I walk out to the living room & she's just standing in the door way to the dining room. Looking at me. Ears up. Stiff as a board. I look around the room. No sign of evidence. "Mila, what did you do?" Silence. Fine, whatever. I'm going back to bed. I turn around, head towards the hallway....the bathroom directly in front of me....I see it.
DISCLAIMER: if you don't have pets or children & have experienced explosive diarreah in either of them, you're not going to want to read what is next.
Just ahead of me, I see it. It's like someone took a water balloon and filled it up with a chocolate milkshake & dropped in in the middle of my bathroom floor. WTF IS THAT!!! The smell was overwhelming. And where do I even start to clean this up. And more importantly WTF IS THAT!!! So I go to the kitchen to scope out what kind of cleaning supplies to even start with. P.S. head still pounding. I get to the kitchen & notice the baby gate is knocked over. So little background on the baby gate. The baby gate SHOULD be in the doorway to the basement blocking the dogs from going down there & bellying up to the turd buffet I call Kody's litter box. Hmmm, ok so Mila helped herself to an all you can eat buffet I take it. Great, so then I have to ponder (and keep down last night's dinner) whether I'm about to clean up puke or explosive diarreah. Super. And to be honest, I still don't know. Whatever I get it all cleaned up - and it took forever because I kept dry heaving every 2 seconds. I can't even handle it. You can imagine that this smell is the ONLY smell my senses can grasp from that point until, well still.
Ok mess cleaned up. Well since the idiot dog decided to prance around in it, I also need to clean the rest of my wood floors AND the dog itself. Now, don't call animal control on me or anything, but this would be Mila's 1st bath since I've had her. I've only had her about 3 months so don't judge me. I can only imagine how this bath this is going to go. Let's just say, this is NOT a picture of how it went.
So Mila gets a bath, technically I get a bath too, along with my entire kitchen. But hey, she doesn't smell like a giant turd anymore so I guess mission accomplished. Again head still pounding.
Ok so back to bed...FINALLY I get up sometime this evening & my head feels better. So I decide to gather up the recycle stuff and get it all put in the big blue recycle container that is at the end of the ginormous snow filled driveway. I get my shoes on, go out to get the stupid thing to drag it into the garage so I can fill it up. The stupid thing is frozen to the ground. I pound on it, pull ice off of it, wipe snow, etc. I worked on this thing in the freezing cold for almost 15 minutes. No socks on by the way. I get the stupid thing detached from the ground and pulled into the garage ready to fill up. And then I see it.
Note, it's green. Which makes it the yardy, not the big blue recycle one. OMG. I give up. Here we go again...I'm not stopping now. That recycle thing is MINE now. Watch out. So I repeat the above process of de-icing the stupid thing & dragging it inside.
So at this point, I've missed Biggest Loser, I've missed American Idol, and I have no desire to make anything for dinner & only want to go back to bed. So yeah, that's where I'm headed now!
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